All We Need Is Love (-ing Kindness)
BIG Exhale. Good gracious we are in the thick of it, aren’t we?! With all that is going on in the world, we are in DESPERATE need of something to replenish our mind, body and spirit and spread some love out into this hurting world. One beautiful way to do this is through the practice of meditation. I know, I know, how can we possibly take time to meditate when the world is on fire, everything feels divided, things feel like they are constantly falling apart and nothing makes sense? It is precisely BECAUSE all those reasons that we need to take just a few moments to fill the tank and share the love.
My introduction to meditation was twelve years ago when I took an 8-week long Mindfulness-Based Stress Reduction class. We met each week for two hours learning various tools of meditation and types of practice, discussing the benefits and completing a practice or two together. This was my first experience learning a formal meditation practice--becoming the witness of my experience, practicing presence and truly finding stillness within. As part of our homework, every single day we had to carve out time, anywhere from 5 minutes to an hour, to practice some kind of meditation. Sounds easy, right? Nope! It sure wasn’t.
At the time I was teaching fourth grade full time and it was summer “break.” I use quotes because teachers don’t really break in the summer, they just work a little less. I was also newly pregnant and feeling the exhaustion of my first trimester (It’s amazing how something the size of a poppy seed can suck the life out of you!). Nonetheless, my point is, my only real obligations were working intermittently, taking care of myself while growing a whole human and completing the practices for this class. Each day I’d wake up, walk, rest, do various work tasks, etc and procrastinate meditating. Finally, with no more excuses left, sometime in the late afternoon or evening, I’d grudgingly sit down and complete my practice. I tried not to hate every single minute of it, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. That is until I learned about lovingkindness meditation. Also known as maître or metta meditation. Finally, a meditation practice I could do AND LOVE! Hopefully once you learn about it, you’ll love it too!
What is Lovingkindness Meditation?
It is a thoughtful, action-based practice in which one cultivates an unconditional friendliness, acceptance and compassion towards self and others by repeating a series of phrases or mantras.
When/Where do I do the practice?
This practice can be done anytime, anywhere! I often do this practice right when I wake up before touching my phone or even getting out of bed. It can shift your whole day beginning your day on your terms from a place of offering and abundance versus from a place of scarcity, lack and reaction from phone notifications.
How do I complete the practice?
Simply find a comfortable seat or lie down if you prefer. Close your eyes or find a soft gaze. Take a few moments to drop your awareness into your breath. You will repeat the mantras 3-5 different times, depending on how long you have for your practice. Here are the mantras:
May I be safe and protected.
May I be free from suffering and the causes of suffering.
May I be healthy in mind, body and spirit.
May I be happy.
May I live in the joy of peace, ease and lovingkindness.
May any suffering that I currently experience be a gateway to wisdom and compassion.
Round 1: Direct the effort and energy behind the phrases towards yourself. We must always begin there.
Round 2: Choose someone you love or care about and send the love to them.
Round 3: Choose someone whom you have neutral feelings. Like the clerk at the grocery store, your mail carrier, etc.
Round 4: This may be the most difficult. Choose someone with whom you have a difficult time dealing and practice unconditional love and friendliness towards them. It’s actually quite liberating.
Round 5: The phrases are directed towards all living beings, including yourself.
Between each round I suggest taking one clearing breath in to gather all the energy of the phrases so you can send the collective sentiments out fully and freely. For my personal practice, I ALWAYS do round 1 and 5. And then I’ll choose one of the options from rounds 2-4, depending on my mood. If you have a little extra time, you can, of course, do all 5 rounds.
If you have children this is an incredible practice to teach them. It’s quick, easy and concreate enough for them to understand and stay focused. I like to do it snuggled in bed at time during tuck in time.
Why should I practice Lovingkindness Meditation?
There are so many benefits to this practice. It promotes self-compassion and kindness, decreases anxiety, reduces physical pain, improves longevity and enhances social connection. You can read more about benefits of lovingkindness meditation if you’d like more detail.
It is with sincerity and love that I hope you can find some time to try this beautiful, life changing practice. Of all the different meditations I have done over the years, this one is by far my favorite and the one I always come back to when I have lost my way from practice. Please accept this offering from my heart to your hearts.