Eat the Frog, Change Your Life
I am VERY begrudgingly eating a frog right now. As you can imagine, it’s pretty gross. They are squishy, slimy and even with salt and pepper, they still taste terrible. However, once I get them down, somehow I feel full, satisfied, stronger and more confident. That’s a pretty decent trade off. During Pandemic Life it seems I’ve been on an all frog diet! But over time, I’ve learned that a frog does a body,-(mind, and spirit) good. Sometimes I even crave a frog every now and again.
I’m sure you have already guessed I’m not ACTUALLY eating a frog. It’s a phrase my friend Rosalynn uses to describe something we have to do, but very much do not want to do. We use it frequently in our house. “Just eat the frog” we say, when we need to stop procrastinating and just hunker down and do the thing, whatever it is!
The frog I’m currently choking down is writing this. I’m going to tell you a little secret if you promise not to tell anyone…I absolutely HATE writing.
Writing is a painstakingly long process for me. I’m a recovering perfectionist, juggling work, kids, school, and life in a pandemic…I don’t need an extra challenging thing on top of all those things, something that makes me feel terrible the entire time I do it (much like eating an actual frog would be)?
But I do it. I write. I eat that frog because something inside me calls me to write. I may hate writing, but I sure do love having written (S/O to Dorothy Parker). I love when I see something come together into a final product that means something, even if it’s just to me. Something that expresses what’s inside of me on the outside of me.
Having written, means I am willing. Willing to show up. Willing to try. Willing to lean into and stay with the discomfort that comes with doing something challenging. Willing to wrestle and grapple with finding good words to express a meaningful message. Having written means I am willing to share my heart openly and freely. Willing to hold myself accountable to my intention, my integrity and my values to always show up in life wholeheartedly, authentically and honestly. So just because I hate writing and it is beyond difficult, it doesn’t mean it doesn’t benefit me greatly. Ultimately, the process of writing--,when I am willing to let it--,changes and transforms me, leaving me better than when I started.
The realization of this change, this transformation that happens every single time I commit to writing or anything I’m called to do, but don’t want to, came to me, a few weeks ago as I was listening to a podcast called Create the Love with Mark Groves. He was interviewing Erin Skye Kelley who said that all our choices in life can be categorized into classes. I immediately connected this idea to the importance of being willing to “eat all the frogs.” Here’s a brief description of each class of choices.
Class 4 Choices: Things that do not feel good and are not good for you.
This class is about doing things in extreme excess. Abusing alcohol, drugs, gambling, constantly being on technology in a way that interrupts daily life and decisions--extreme addictions that hurt us. This is the hardest place from which to make change. We all know someone who lives here, or have walked through these fires ourselves.
Class 3 Choices: Things that feel good but are not good for you.
This class includes most of what’s in class 4 to a lesser extreme. Having more than a few drinks, “bad” food choices, constantly scrolling, etc. In this class we receive immediate gratification, but it’s short-lived, like getting a sugar high from a candy bar or a burst of energy from a cup of coffee. We get what feels good, but it’s fleeting. Change is still hard from this place and we are often stuck because even though the choices aren’t good for us, we are getting some kind of reward.
Class 2 Choices: Things that might not feel good but are good for you.
This includes choices like getting up early, writing, practicing yoga at home, exercising, eating your vegetables, having a courageous conversation, reading a book, doing a task that’s challenging or that you really don’t want to—eating a frog goes here! This is the class of choice where true change can happen, transformation!
Class 1 Choices: Things that feel good and are good for you.
This includes class 2 experiences that over time become class 1. For example, getting up early and completing a yoga practice is often difficult, but after a while, once a habit has formed, your body craves it. Your body feels the benefits and the benefits finally outweigh the cost of commitment.
For many of us, yoga can be classified as a class 2 choice. How many times have you told yourself you really need to do more yoga and then didn’t? I’ve definitely been there! I’d say more often than not, our yoga practice can be a lot like my writing practice. Coming to our mats, especially at home, can be extraordinarily challenging. Yoga, while it almost always leaves us feeling better than when we started is not always an easy practice to actually start. It is a practice that requires discipline, dedication, and commitment. It requires us to be focused, still, to sit with discomfort. Yoga is not always a feel good practice, but it can be a transformative one.
There is some good news about class 2 choices and trying to change something in your life. You don’t need to start by eating the biggest, juiciest frog there is. You can simply begin by eating a little frog each day. Over time, you’ll acquire a taste for it—it won’t be quite as hard to swallow. If you’re wanting to cultivate an in-home yoga practice, start small. Make tiny choices each day to build the habit and your window of tolerance for leaning into discomfort over time. Commit to 15 minutes on your mat each day. Heck, start with 10. With a little effort each day and consistency over time, you get a little more comfortable, a little more capable. Your tolerance for the discomfort strengthens and your confidence in your ability grows. It’s just showing up over and over again.
If you want to live a class 1 life, you have to be willing to eat the frog. To be honest, you have to be willing to eat a lot of frogs. But trust me, it’ll be worth it.